Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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