sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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