Christians are straight up FREAKS
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
