So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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