I like to think it a success when the cops are called
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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