it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
