You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
