i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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