yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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