yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
They have beer where we have blood.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
