I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
