OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
