Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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