problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize