I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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