What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I have aggressive nipples.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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