Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
