Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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