I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
