wrigley field is MILF paradise
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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