she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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