Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
