Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
