I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
