You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
this is an emotional support booty call
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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