No awkward lesbian experiences without me
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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