Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
