The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
