he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
