I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
