Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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