you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize