i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
