You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize