You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
