I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
