currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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