I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
