you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
