I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
