Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
