Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I skipped work to stalk him.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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