remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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