Ambien. No doubt about it.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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