South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
