and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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