how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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