All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Every concussion has its silver lining
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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