She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
well you can't waste a boner
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
