these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
