Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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