Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
