return my video game
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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