Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
