Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
