We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
do herpes really smell.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
