I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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