no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
