In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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