quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize