I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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