I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
