I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Who died my cat blue again?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
