I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
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