Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
