hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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