cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
