NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
