I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
