whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
