i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize