your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Randomize
