absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Please, let me fuck your mom
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
