6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
