I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
