Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize