And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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