i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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