My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
